Thursday, May 1, 2014

FISH AND CROCODILES AND SHARKS

I put the word fish in the title to lure people in. Snicker. A friend posted that picture of a wheelchair rolling down a hill into a crocodile; her daughter commented, 'Hey Mom, can we try this?' hence the crocodile and my morning laugh out loud and scare the neighbors. Sharks? No reason, why? Other than I've seen the fins just offshore on my walks. I can walk along the beach halfway to the library. The library is almost to Starbucks.  Starbucks has cookies.

I put a coffee shop and cookie into one of my stories. I don't know what to call the cookie to make it sound embarrassing when they call it out to the 'hero', my usual 17'ish gay boy. Oh god, I just realized what the cookies currently at my favorite coffee shop, could - resemble. To a gay boy.

Yesterday I conquered the art of procrastination. I am now your master. I got so much other stuff done, it's amazing.

Oh, fish! I'm deleting my thousands of bad fish pictures. I've only been snorkeling about a year and a half; and it stills scares me, but I do it. Having a camera along distracts me; having digital means shoot at anything that holds still long enough. I've seen three octopi, one ray, many turtles, eels, and of course, fish. My favorite place to go, 'Dumps', is a marine preserve.

I am a Canon freak but am intrigued by the GoPro cameras. Any ideas?

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Super Human

The title does not refer to me. Yesterday I went snorkeling. This is sometimes awesome, often frightening, and somewhat generally way the hell out of my comfort zone, which is something you're supposed to do periodically. It's good for you! So is cabbage but I hate that too.

Today I saw the dermatologist. He said I'm perfect. My barista said the only person who ever said he was perfect was his mother. I wisely said nothing, though I tried. Saved by the next customer, not by any common sense I may or may not have.

I am procrastinating. You can help me do this by never visiting this page. There were 22 views last month and before that over 300. Apparently this month I have turned into chopped liver. Thanks so much.

I have three short stories I intend to offer to two different online epublishers. The first time I did this they snapped it up. This put terror in my heart and paralysis in my motivation. This is backwards.

Sunday we went on the Trilogy's Blue'Aina, which is a boat trip to a reef we snorkel or dive at and clean up. We also get breakfast and lunch and it's a reasonable charge, plus the profits go to a different nonprofit each time. It's awesome. I admitted to one of the crew that I do it but I'm still somewhat scared every time. While I was out in the water, I happened to come up near him, where he was sitting on a surfboard watching, and I dunno, I guess if you ever felt really protected and taken care of, that would express how I felt. Besides the fact that I probably look like a frog fish when I'm in snorkel gear, but that's beside the point.

GAH

It's no secret that we moved five or so years ago from a big house on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State to a 640 square foot condo on Maui, 300 feet from the ocean. Yes, there are downsides as well as pluses and right now one of the noisy ones is approaching our door for the third time today; yard boy with a weed-blower. One which is belching exhaust befitting a drag race between the two worst-kept old cars you could find, driven by betel-nut chewing drunks. He's on his hands and knees with this device.

It's no secret either that I can't concentrate at the best of times. Right now I'm doing this and I'll tell you why* in a minute (if I remember), adding music to my IPod which deleted itself last week, doing some online shopping, looking to see if my two current favorite bands (The Protomen and the Raveonettes) have new music out (no, dammit) and backing up files AND weeding photos AND procrastinating uploading stories to several hopeful markets. I mean I'm hopeful.

Fellow writer (but probably better and certainly more computer savvy and professional) Andrew Jericho is sponsoring me on his page as of tomorrow, for which I'm very grateful. See here*: http://akkinley.com/author-feature-emery-c-walters/?preview=1&_ppp=84354d76db

I barely know how to update this page. Or get to my gmail, however, if you want to talk to me or tell me how terrific I am, you can find me on Facebook too. I have no secrets and I'm friendly, most of the time.

Yesterday there was a turtle on the beach, resting. Of course nobody knew why it was there and at least six different people called other different people to let the 'pros' know. They already knew so were not returning calls so .... well it got complicated. Three other turtles were hanging around as well. Two of the people I talked to were beach-dwellers (as opposed to 'homeless'), one from Austria and one from the Ukraine 'via Canada'. The turtle - she in this case - had suffered a huge bite where one flipper goes into the body but it is, per the experts, healing well.

I feel a trip to Starbucks is in my immediate future and I promise to get at least one story sent off today. I may share my 'real' life with the world here and on Facebook (and as little in person as possible, talk about your introvert), but I also need and deserve to share my fictional life as well.

That said, go do something nice for yourself, because no matter where or when you are along your own path, (insert really important and helpful comment here) - you deserve the best - and you ARE that best. Trust me on that - and trust yourself, too.

Monday, April 14, 2014

'Normal'?

I posted yesterday and it disappeared. Story of my life. Today I'm off to the bookstore where I actually throw books in the dumpster. Isn't that an awful concept? But if they're moldy, mildewed and home to bugs, out they go. It amazes me that on a small island like this, there are always more books, but then, there are also always more cats too. The best part is finding treasures that never seem to show up in the 'real' bookstores, including well written young adult novels. You can tell when one is patronizing or preaching, and when one is educational and open.

One of our local homeless, 'Shades', has written a screenplay which he hopes to get funding for. In the meantime he's trying to film a scene to put up online. Yesterday he told me, laughing at himself, that as he was being filmed another friend of his came up and loudly announced, "I got food poisoning at Fred's (a local Mexican restaurant) last night." On camera. Shades' idea of going to the beach includes his guitar and a bag of weed, but he's still funny as hell.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Flash!

To clarify last post, Robyn has been honored to be chosen as the volunteer of the year for all the National Marine Whale Sanctuary sites.

This is my birthday week and I celebrate as long as I can. Today I ordered a shirt for myself. It's on clearance LOL. I also wrote three flash fiction stories - all around 975 words. At least I'm consistent, no? I'll get those organized and submitted this weekend.

Our side of Maui has been windy and sunny lately, though rain has been a frequent guest, unusually frequent. We may or may not get to go snorkeling tomorrow. Here's something magical for you.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

At the risk of sounding like an absentee voter, one who is lost in a forest somewhere, I'd like to welcome me back. Some of my writing has necessitated a website, which I don't got. Some of my latest attempts have been back in the 'It was a dark and stormy night' zone, you know, bad, or at least, bad on purpose. I looked up my presence on line and it is pathetic and scattered. All the books have their own place, webpage or whatever. Me, I'm on LiveJournal but not posting, Facebook and very active there, and at BecHavn Press, individual pages just like on Amazon. This may have to do, because while I can do well the few things I can do, the rest of the enchanted wonderland that is hyperspace is a complete mystery to me. A huh and what the hell is that mystery.

In the works are: 'A Gay Pirate's Tale' through BecHavn, and 'Ghosties and Girlies' though Amazon's CreateSpace. The books that are already 'out there' are 'Last Year's Leaves', 'Mending Rainbows', 'Cabin Boy', 'Finding Avalon', 'As I Am', and the two short story books of 'Out is In' and 'Books, Dogs and the Sea'. I also have a short story coming out in Ebook form via JMS, in July.

The weather here on Maui has been windy, and wet. I haven't been in the water snorkeling in a month. I've been doing battle with prescriptions and various body things that shall remain nameless but none the less gang up on me periodically.

Robyn has been selected for an hour for her massive volunteer work. All I'm doing is two hours a week at the little Friends of the Library book store in a former boys' bathroom out in the cane field. Other than the bugs and mildew, I love it.

Look at me!:
 










Le wow.

Friday, December 21, 2012

An Excerpt from 'Dog Days'


          This is from ashort story called 'Dog Days' which is in my next book (as yet unnamed) of short stories. The hero is in the hospital. His roommate is Sol.This is a semi-X-rated part. 

               Bright and early, way too early, Sol woke me again with his annoying ‘Wakey, wakey!’ thing and then when I didn’t respond he was on top of me again, even though – speaking of ‘trees’ – I had a very impressive morning wood thing going on and in my dream, well, never mind. I was just glad – mostly – that it didn’t carry over to Sol’s sitting on my stomach bare assed naked again, and bouncing up and down. I groaned, highly confused over my mixed feelings. The jerk was oblivious. Um, wait a minute, he just stopped being oblivious. I think I’m about to learn something – BRB.

               Oh. My. God. After this I didn’t care what Sol was – trying – to …

               I think I could get used to this.

               I wonder if Mrs. White had something to say about this?

               ‘We’re gonna have a GREAT (big!) day!’

               Shut up Mrs. White…

               So an hour later that sexy night nurse comes in and there’s me and Sol sound asleep, all tangled up together In my bed, our ass bandages hanging half off and Sol snoring away  like the happy bitch he is. The nurse came up beside us and my eyes opened and looked up at him, sleepy and innocent. “I…” he started out, his face gradually turning red. “I – see – you’re feeling better,” and he burst out laughing. I didn’t know what he meant, until oh. Yeah, well you see… And then Sol farted. The nurse left, barely making it out into the hall, he was bent over so far trying to hold his stomach and silence his mirth, not that he had a chance.

               I didn’t know what to think so I thought I’d shove Sol a good one and get him the hell off me, which I did, and all he did was kiss my nose and crawl back to his own bed, sighing in loud and semi-faked ecstasy. I wanted to kill him. And the nurse. And then maybe myself, later.

               Well, the nurse came back in, told me his name was Todd and that he’d be our nurse for the day and he was glad to see… he couldn’t finish. “I have to change your bandages.  The doctor will be in later and just rip them off again, but oh well. He’s the boss, right? Apparently I wasn’t going to be killed or thrown in jail or have this put in the newspaper.

               “You’re in the paper again I see. Good on you! You are a real hero, you know. Now turn over, hero, so I can look at – your – ooh very nice.” (Was he supposed to pat my ass that way while ripping off the – HOLY FUCKING OW! Holy shit! Had I grown hair on my butt?) “Sorry,” he said, not sounding it. I reached back and pulled the pillow over my head. I tried to fart but couldn’t. Damn him.

               He didn’t move for a minute and I got scared. “What?” I finally asked, my voice so muffled I had to take the pillow off and try to sit up.

               “I’m sorry, it’s just that this bite looks bad. I don’t think you’ll be going home today. Or anywhere. Maybe across the hall though, if you promise to not take all the cheese Danish. I love those.”

               Oh shit.

               “I saw your boyfriend in the parking lot.”

               “He’s not my boyfriend.”

               “Tell him that. He’s loaded down with food for you and probably enough for Solomon too. I think he’s cute.” His voice dropped. “But then, I think this…” here he pinched my butt, “Is cute, too.”

He was rubbing ointment or something onto my bite. It felt good and awful at the same time. My dick was getting only the ‘good’ part of the message. I was glad I was on my stomach, so far.

               “Sit up – gently.” Believe me I was gentle. “Now;” he held out a little bag to me. “Look in there. See what they are?” Uh, yes. “Do you want me to show you how to put one on before the next time Sol or someone like Sol…” NO. “I got you the biggest size, since...” I KNOW, I thought, flushing bright red, remembering his hand on my dick making me urinate. Good god. My dick felt no embarrassment, however, only pride.

               “No! Uh, no – thank you – I believe I can figure it out.” I could feel my face flame with heat. I didn’t want to think about my dick, it was ready to salute the flag, the cheeky little bastard.

               “Are you sure? There’s a couple dozen in there. Will that be enough? Do you know where...”

               Saved! Lefty came in saying, “Hello, what’s up?”

               Oh God. Does the whole world know?

               God indeed. Todd stood up, turning to Lefty, saying, “I don’t think you’ll be taking him home with you today. Let me show you the bite that might be infected, here on his…” Turning from Todd to me. “Roll over again sweetheart,” and he winked at me in such a way that Todd could see him, and then ran his tongue over his lips. I swear to God that bastard was smirking at me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sol sitting up gingerly, watching. Todd put the bags of food on the table and came over. As Todd lifted my gown Sol came over. He was all I could see the way I was lying, and as he got right by my bed he pulled up his gown and lay his dick right in front of my face, with his gown draped casually back over it – and my head. Then he leaned over me, accidentally pushing down. And, sideways.

               “Now let me take off this old bandage…” Fucking liar! “And see this lesion and the…” medical terms flew from Todd’s mouth as he caressed my ass, his other hand lying on my other butt cheek and, er, in between. Every one of us was breathing hard and I could tell that at least two of us were hard. Me and Sol, of course. I could feel Todd’s thumb – if it was Todd and if it was his thumb – Ooookay! Enough! Another voice joined the fray. Well two, mine in a hesitant whimper along the lines of ‘oooooooooh’ and the doctor who had just come in (along with, I presume, his horde of retainers.)

               “Thank you, Todd, I see you have the patient all ready for me!” WHAT? I pushed myself upwards, launching pillow, Sol’s gown and dick and Sol backward, and almost went into orbit. I landed on my knees and felt stitches rip.  There was a dead silence as I knelt there oozing blood, a tent in my gown, hyperventilating but gee whiz, not crying yet, blushing everywhere. Sol started back toward his bed, muttering; Todd looked up at Sol and said, “Why Salome, how nice you look in that gown!” Tented gown, not his color, and ‘Salome’? Stage name? Lefty – left. I heard his guffaws hit as soon as he turned the corner out of the room. I pretended I ‘did this on purpose’, grabbed the bag of what turned out to be fresh doughnuts, and turned on my side, facing the window, my bare ass toward Solly/Salome, and stuffed a cream filled long john in my mouth. Todd left the room abruptly as I bit down and cream came out of my mouth. As soon as he joined Lefty in the hall, he started bellowing with laughter too.

               The bastards. All of them. Cream ran down my chin and I licked it up with my tongue, daring the doctor and his minions, whom I was now facing, to say a single word.