Monday, August 8, 2011

All Relative


It wasn’t as if he’d never been sick before; he had. He knew he’d been sick a lot worse, pneumonia that one time, bronchitis another. His appendix had almost burst when he was ten, that had been bad.

This time though – oh. my. God. At first he’d been afraid he was going to die. Now he was afraid he wasn’t going to die.

And for God’s sake, this had to be the first time his crush had ever wanted anything to do with him. How in hell could he even close his mouth long enough to kiss the man, let alone put anything in his mouth long enough to – uh – without breathing? He sure as hell couldn’t breathe through his nose, now could he? Even if he could, he’d ruin it by coughing, or worse.

How attractive. His nose was red, his chest was too tight, his eyes were puffy. If he inhaled he coughed. If he didn’t breathe he coughed. If he sat down he coughed, stood up he coughed, lay down, forget it.

And oh God make me weep, there’s Seth, in front of me, seeing me, his sea-blue eyes piercing mine, seeing me! In all my red and puffy and snot-nosed glory. Oh fuck, am I blowing a snot bubble? God, kill me now!

At least my nose won’t be the only part of me that’s going to explode. My dick is trying to unzip my pants from the inside. No, Seth, no, oh don’t, please don’t run your tongue over your lips like that.  Oh my God. He’s coming in for a landing.

For God’s sake, move toward him! He can’t see your nose in this light! He can’t – oooooh fuck, he’s – no, Seth, don’t reach for my jeans, no – oh, oh that’s nice. Oooh, wait!  Umphf!

Don’t make me breathe so deeply. This will not go well. Oh – hack. Hack hack hack. Oh fuck. He’s holding me and patting me on the back as if I were a baby! Here I am at the sexiest, most important moment of my life and this god is holding me on his shoulder like a child, burping me, and I’m hawking up phlegm like a snot-nose two year old! My nose and my eyes are running down his back. And my dick, is, oh no, he’s got – how did he get his hand in – oh crap.

How did I stop coughing long enough to turn my head? Oh god, his neck is delicious! I’m just going to – lick – numpf! That’ll leave a mark! Teeth mark. Tooth mark. Ha ha! Oh my god, does that shiver mean he liked it?

I think my dick just s’ploded. My knees blew out. The only thing holding me up is my teeth. Oh God I need a cigarette.

Oh wait, I don’t smoke.


Uh oh. There’s more? What’s Seth – Seth, no! Ow! Oh uh, never mind. (Hang on teeth, if he’s gonna hurt me then…oooh!)

“You like to bite, huh?” Came Seth’s delightful, sexy voice, so close to my ear. “How do you like it?”

I couldn’t shiver any harder if I had a high fever, which, by the way, I did, along with my cough. I shuddered as his head moved lower, his lips and teeth just touching my neck – I had to let go of his before my neck broke, but that was OK. His hand was still inside my jeans. Where was the – oh, fuck, no. His other hand was sliding down inside the back of my jeans.

Then his teeth found my nipple. I squirmed. His fingers – bubbles did come out of my nose and other orifices, bubbles of joy or something. My dick was so stiff I couldn’t be sure that I’d already come or not. Frankly, it didn’t matter.

I didn’t even notice I was whispering – I was whispering, right, not shouting? That would suck. Everyone would – “No, oh no, don’t – stop, yeah, don’t stop,” I heard myself saying.

Where were his hands? Ohhhh, yeah, wait, where were mine? Fuck this! I’m not helpless – uh, goddamn this zipper, how did he get mine down so easily? “Help me?” I heard myself squeak.

“Mmft,” came the muffled reply as his tongue slid lower down my chest. Where the hell was my shirt? Had it simply abandoned ship with all my morals? What morals, who was I kidding, I’d have killed for this moment. Hell, I’d have killed just to have those sea blue eyes locked on mine, let alone, hey, they must be gazing at my navel by now – navel-gazing, ha ha… uh oh, lower than that? There … wasn’t much to see… lower than…

Oh god. Were Seth’s eyes closed? His mouth wasn’t. It was all I could do to breathe.

Oh – that sure doesn’t feel anything like the doctor’s finger did when – uh huh…. OK, then, Seth, watch out… gurgle… am I ever going to breathe normally again? I can’t keep this up all night, can I? Oh please, don’t let me keep THAT up all night, or even a minute longer, oh, sweet torture! Oh my nails are digging into his – what, his butt? What uh oh, yeah, baby, can I… no? Too ……… um…….

“Oh my god,” this from Seth. “You’re a hot number, aren’t you? Where have you been all my life? Come here.” This from someone whose breath tickled my belly button.

“Seth – I am here. I’m okay….. I was there, now I’m… I’m uh…”

“You liked that huh?” How could I hear him when his tongue was in my ear? Are we on the ground? A chaise lounge? I didn’t know I could bend my leg up this – how many hands does Seth have?

“Bite me again, bitch!” Seth’s voice was a growl, like a bear.

My mouth dried up instantly. And my teeth froze where they were. I was no more capable right then of spitting or licking or opening or closing my jaw than if I’d been bitten by a rabid chipmunk. Speaking of bitten – ow! “Seth!”

Two of my fingers disappeared and I didn’t want to think where or how, but Seth seemed to like it. I sure liked what he was doing, front and back.

There was no doubt about whether or not I came this time. And one of us was purring.


When we stopped for breath – I mean, like the proverbial ‘afterwards’ in old books - I still had no idea where my shirt was but my jeans were twisted around one of my legs. At least, I think it was my leg. Eh – it might have been Seth’s leg, or it might have been his jeans, I don’t know. There was light coming from a window and Seth was raised up on one elbow, looking at me. I liked. I smiled.

“Turn over a minute,” Seth said quietly.

I grinned and giggled, thinking, again? Already?

So I turned over, waiting, and I felt his hand run down my right shoulder. It made it itch and burn, his fingers left a trail of fire… I could hardly wait.

“Did you ever have chicken pox?” came the sexy voice.

“Huh?” I remembered then that Seth was studying nursing, but still, get on with it, I’m ready! I murmured, “Yeah, why?”

“Because you have shingles.”

“I – what?” As far as I knew, I didn’t even have siding or a roof, let alone shingles. The last guy I’d been with was a builder, and he’d never asked me about shingles. WTF?


Apparently, my dick had apparently failed to get the memo and was trying to lift me off the ground like a crane on steroids. Seth had moved and was sitting on my ass, which was fine in one way, but painful in another. I squirmed.

He was peering closer at my shoulder, and running his fingers around the already fiery part, making it expand, much like my squashed dick was trying to do. He was asking, “Does this hurt? Does that hurt?” and all I could reply was “umph” when I wanted to scream, “No your moron, it’s my dick!” which wasn’t true, actually, because my shoulder was now an agony of fire. The thought crossed my mind that this torture might just be another way of getting me hornier than hell, like when he nipped me with his teeth.

Seth was leaning closer now, and whispering, “How about this? Does this – hurt?” and his teeth closed in on my neck again. I shivered so violently with lust that I almost knocked Seth off my back. I’m sure he would have gone flying but with my first buck he had me by the – handle - and nobody was going anywhere.

I’d never come three times in an hour before in my life, but there’s a first time for everything.

Four times, if you count what happened when he was cleaning me up with his tongue a  few minutes later.


I was half-sitting, leaning against the wall, watching the light shimmer on the water in the pool. The gate was locked – technically the pool was closed, but here we were in the shadows of the hedge, where no one could see us, and hopefully, no one could hear. Right now it didn’t matter, we were quiet together and oddly enough I felt myself crying. I don’t know why, but tears were dripping off my chin and nose and I tried to wipe them away without Seth seeing me.

“Your back is hurting you, isn’t it?” Seth spoke quietly, out of the blue. I could barely make out his body, but his face caught a moonbeam and I could see how deep his eyes had turned, serious now, no laughter or joy bringing up sparks from the depths. I didn’t know if I wanted to drown in them, or in the deep end of the pool. I was embarrassed, and yes, my shoulder was hurting very badly now.

I nodded dumbly, then realized he might now be able to see that. “It burns,” I mumbled and a sob escaped me, “Fuck!” I snarled at my big fat baby self. “Damnit!” I was so angry at myself I kicked my foot and my sandal went flying off and into the water with a quiet splash. How could I have gone from splendor to anger so quickly? Seth would think…

Seth chuckled. I wanted to kill him, but then he reached up and with one gentle finger, wiped the tears from beneath my eyes, and then leaned forward and kissed me so gently, so softly, that I – oh god, am I trite? – I melted. I felt as if I were oozing down into a puddle beside the pool. Unfortunately what was melting was my eyeballs and the tears just ran, no they poured, down my face.

Nor was my nose immune.

Seth put his arms around me and my head on his shoulder and again, patted me on the back. I giggled, afraid I’d burp, but then I was soothed, and able to stop crying. I did still want to die though, rather than have him see me like this, but he didn’t seem to mind. My patheticness – is that a word? – seemed to bring out a side of him he usually kept well hidden, and it seemed as if he was happy to be able to indulge this feeling with me.


While all my teenage years I’d tried hard for ‘studly’, and only ever achieved ‘cute’ according to girls - not that I ever cared what they thought – this now seemed like a good thing. And I did feel completely pathetic, well, except for my dick, which once again, had failed to get the memo. All it was thinking was ‘more, please’. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had demanded in a husky voice, ‘Suck me, big boy!’

But Seth was still being Supergod, wiping my tears, holding me away from him now, smiling. “Let’s get you to the ER or at least get those shingles taken care of before they get worse, then, when you feel better,” he looked up at me from beneath his long eye lashes, and one finger drew circles around my nipples, which firmed up like thumbtacks under his touch. I could imagine them whispering in unison, “We feel great! Right now!”

He pulled me to my feet. I had no idea where my pants were. Had they not just been tangled around my foot a while ago? Where was my shirt? Where the hell were we, come to think of it. I realized I had no idea. At some pool somewhere?

While he still held onto me with one arm, he reached with the other and started groping around in the dimness behind me. There must have been a table or shelf there because his hand came back holding a bottle. “Drink up,” he told me, holding it to my lips.

Yeah. It was fire water. And I blurped it halfway across the pool as if I’d inhaled dragon breath. And of course, Seth patted me on the back some more, while I hung there off his hand, trying to find out where my lungs were now.

“You’re not used to this sort of thing, are you sweetie?” Seth asked. “Where the hell are you from?” He sighed, then helped me sit on one of the chaise lounges. He knelt beside me and stared deeply into my weeping eyes. “I can’t take you anywhere like this. You don’t even have pants. Not that that’s a bad thing, you darling boy.” He sighed. I thought I saw him drool. He ran a finger down my nose, off my lips and onto my chest. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” he asked unexpectedly.

I blurted a laugh (all right, I snorted, there, are you happy?) “I was an hour ago!” I managed to choke out.

He laughed. “Well,” he chuckled, “There’s virgins - and then there’s virgins! Ha ha!” Then he turned serious again. “Where are you staying and how soon can you move in with me instead?”

I shook my head, wondering if suddenly we’d both turned into lesbians. I nodded, it was a stupid answer, but with my dick suddenly sprouting like a mushroom after rain, it was pretty obvious what I meant. And at that moment, I had no idea where I lived anyhow.

That last part, of course, wasn’t true. I knew only too well, and had no intention of ever going back there if I could avoid it. If I didn’t, then I had what I stood up in – shit, well, you know what I mean. I figured I’d better get going and actually find what I had stood up in before all this wonderment had happened to me. But first, I had to be sure, and for that – I wanted to look strong, to look at Seth as an equal, as a partner, as … but in the end I stood there naked, looking up at him from under my tear-drenched lashes, my lips bruised with his kisses, my eyes full of yet more unshed tears. His answer was in his eyes, and then I was in his arms again, our hearts beating together.

It was all so trite I almost wanted to throw up, but hey, if my life was not going to be one big, long studly adventure, then perhaps a nice hot romance would not be so bad in its place.

After a while, we found my pants, retrieved my sandal, and gathered up everything else we had brought with us to this now empty party site. We climbed over the fence, falling on each other in a heap on the outside, and he guided me to his car.

I, of course, cried the whole time, but Seth didn’t seem to mind.


_________________



On the drive to Seth’s house, I managed to stop sobbing and calm down. He pulled into a drugstore and told me he’d be right back and asked if I wanted anything. I told him I’d need a toothbrush and he ran his tongue over his lips as if to say, no you don’t, you can use mine.

Seth was back, with that big smile and those blue eyes and that dimple I had always wanted to lick. “I know the pharmacist. I got you an antiviral and some ointment. We’re gonna make you feel goooood with no ER necessary!”  Seth was happy as he tossed several bags into the back seat. “And I got you a toothbrush, you big sissy, afraid to use mine are you?” and with that, he leaned over to kiss me and ran his tongue around my teeth, giggling. I had to laugh too, at the irony, and at the fact that his tongue tickled mine.

Then he turned to me, his hand on my cheek, and caught his breath. “Listen,” he started, then he closed his eyes, opened them again, licked his lips. “I want you to be with me. I feel – I dunno, there’s just something about you. I need you to be with me. I won’t – fuck you if you don’t want, I won’t...”

But here I had to interrupt. I was going to cry again and the tears I was holding back prickled my eyes. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe, as if the air had stopped entering the car. My eyes went from his to his lips to the light outside, my hand reached for his, and then for his face. He was already so dear to me, the crush part still alive within me, but layered over now by a deepness I had never felt before. It was as if I’d known him all my life, and for whatever lives I may have had before. For eternity, maybe. I nodded, and just whispered, “I know, my dear, I know.”

And he leaned in and we kissed. And outside the car – well I’d like to say the stars turned into fireworks and the moon turned green with envy, but that didn’t happen. All that happened was some man went by snarling, “Fucking homos! Goddamn queers. They’re everywhere!” And our lips blew away from each other as if we’d been caught by a nun, but we caught each other’s eyes and burst out laughing at the exact same time. Then Seth’s elbow hit the horn, the man jumped as if he’d been shot, and we laughed even harder, falling against each other, helpless with hilarity, and joy.